This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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