singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
