I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
