i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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