i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
zippers are such a cool invention
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
