what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
