And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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