Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
