What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
