I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
