My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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