Sorry, I don't speak sober.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
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