hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
