well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
