ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
