I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
only you would photoshop your dick
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
