atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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