party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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