I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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