Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
