She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
