Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A bitchslap is in order.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
