I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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