hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
