alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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