She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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