Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
