Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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