do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
