Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
