with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
