Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
