i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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