I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize