just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
