he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
