i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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