At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
