i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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