Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
