What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
