Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
