This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
