Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
