Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
