How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
