I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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