I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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