READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
4 words: hood of his car
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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