i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
