just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
