btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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