i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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