Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
