Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
