You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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