im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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