in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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