i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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