Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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