I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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