Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
