Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
two words...techno handjob
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
