i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize