They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You're like the curious george of whores
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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