My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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