She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
