Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
